Weddings Inspire Me

Over the last month and a half, I went to two weddings, each celebrating the marriage of one of my dearest friends. Both were unique to themselves and reflected the personal tastes and styles of my girlfriends. At each, I danced to fabulous music and ate great food. What was common to both was the joy that every guest had; as if they, too, were invested in the act of these unions. What was most significant to me was feeling I had inside affirming this thing we call marriage. 

These two couples inspired, moved and touched me by the journeys they had each taken as individuals in their own rite and collectively, in their evolving partnerships of growth, trust, loving kindness, challenges, respect, friendship, attraction, devotion, love and now marriage. I had an overwhelming feeling that I understood the distinction between a relationship and a marriage, and how as a couple, choosing to be married creates and opportunity to become more intimate, more committed, more willing to say, "I am my beloved and my beloved is mine." I don't feel that marriage is the only way, or that not being married makes a couple less committed or less in love. It's just that being in the presence of clear and strong "choice" over the last couple of months, it was so obvious that, as much as we can poke at the institution of marriage with its visible downfalls as well as the rates of divorce, in the right context, it has the capability to add a new foundation to a relationship which can build a stronger and more sustainable house. Given the right two people, who each can let go of their ego from time to time and not always have to be "more right;" who see their relationship more in terms of what does make it special rather than what is wrong, and who can practice loving kindness with a wide open heart and an ability to breathe through the challenging moments and rejoice in the beautiful ones, marriage has the ability to create extraordinary joy and divine  and lasting love.
Bearing witness my friends as they declared publicly before everyone they love and who loves them that the sum of their parts is greater as a whole, I had an experience of "being in the right place at the right time," so to speak. In other words, I think I would have missed out not to see, in front of my eyes and illuminated in my soul, the purpose and poignancy of a simple act that can connect two people, heart-to heart, in a way that offers an even greater wholeness than each already had. One can be the most independent person with a rich and full life, which is wonderful, because that person makes the best partner. Self-love and a sense of one's own worthiness are pivotal, and without those, we cannot ever attract a healthy partner and spouse, but the love of another allows us to finally complete the open circle that begins in childhood. Marriage is a ritual that seals the circle. Beyond that, as I saw in these two weddings, when it is agreed upon by two already-committed people, it opens up another level in this spiritual partnership that happens right in the act of getting married. It can only be understood at that moment in which it occurs, and requires trust and a willingness to let go into the other's arms. I think it is worth the risk.