Opposite Action

May each person have a warm home to sleep in and easily rebuild anything that was lost.
May all the trees grow strong and rooted to the earth.

One of my main areas of focus in counseling is with eating disorders, where long-held beliefs and behaviors are deeply ingrained in the body's memory. In these situations, where people keep turning and returning to self-destructive behaviors, one of the most effective ways to shift the response mechanism is with a tool called, "opposite action." Using this tool, we can start to recondition the body's cellular belief system, or cellular DNA (different from our genetic DNA, which is actually only responsible for 5% of our health outcome). From this model, we can turn major obstacles into personal victories and begin to heal our ED, or any addictive, compulsive or self-destructive pattern.
Here's how it works: Let's say it's lunchtime, and you eat something out of your normal routine for food. You are at work, and to celebrate a coworkers birthday, they've brought in the most delicious chocolate mousse cake, so you join in and have a big slice. It's luscious; really yummy. Now it's
mid-afternoon, and there's a voice in your head saying something like this: "Maybe I'll skip out on dinner tonight. It was really too much for me to have that cake. It must be hundreds of calories. I am not allowed to have that and have dinner, too. Ok, I'll just have an apple, or maybe some carrots. Shoot, I'm really mad at myself for eating that stupid cake. Now I'm sure to gain five pounds. I'm going to look really bad. Ok, I'm just going to skip dinner. Maybe I'll skip dinner, go for a run and then eat really light for breakfast. I hate myself for eating that cake! Forget it, maybe I should just eat more cake, since I'm fat already."
We know this kind of self-talk is sure to send you down the rabbit hole, so to speak. What do you do now? It's time for opposite action, which is originally attributed to Sigmund Freud's daughter, Anna Freud, whose focus was on "adopting a behavior that is opposite of the instinctual urge - acting opposite" with regards to"reaction formation." When the first negative thought comes up, take an opposite action. Move the thought out of your head and replace it with a new one. When you start to think about the piece of cake and skipping dinner, think about something soothing, like the great day you just had with your friend or the trip you have planned. It's helpful to add in a physical change, such as removing yourself from your immediate environment, by getting up and walking around the office. This can release the body's hold on the negative impulse and replace it with a new and different somatic (body-centered) experience. That's where I believe we want to both shift the thought and shift our body's experience of the thought, adding in the cellular belief component.
When you get home and it's dinner time, boom, if the thought comes up again, do some opposite action self-talk: "Dinner is so nourishing for my body. I completely trust my choices. I know I have a right to eat dinner." Use intentions and affirmations like these to support the action of preparing dinner. Incorporate some deep breathing to shift the cellular response, which would typically be constricted or tight with the disturbing thoughts. Expand your body and open up your thoughts beyond the repetitive.
After dinner, continue with some more affirmations, such as, "I love everything I ate. This food really nurtures me and supports my body. I am calm and content."
Opposite action can be used to break any cycle of addiction, including the pull we sometimes feel to stay in unhealthy relationships or situations that compromise our highest good by feeling good for the moment. The key is to turn to the opposite thought no matter how much you want to dwell on the destructive one; just choose the other. It's also a great tool for people grieving a relationship that has recently ended, when self-doubts and mistrust often come in.
Once you start to recondition your cellular DNA by taking opposite action more often, you will feel an enormous sense of liberation, as if the chains you couldn't break for years have just been untied, and you no longer have to be in bondage to yourself. Try it and see.