Food is Our Most Intimate Partner

This evening I was over at Irina's, who is still cleansing for a few more days. As I ate my delicious dinner, leftovers so lovingly created by me yesterday for a women's gathering I had last night, I could feel Irina's cleansing energy different than my eating energy. At the end of the 31-day Juice Feast, which we did last April to May, I felt that I could have gone on for the 90 days taken on by some of my colleagues in the field of raw and living foods. However, I stopped after day 31, because I feel that having a healthy relationship with food also means honoring the commitments that you and food make to one another. We can easily be disordered in our eating when we change those just to cater to the "high" of the moment.
Counseling intensively and extensively in the world of eating disorders, I understand how a loving relationship with food can easily beome a controlling one. I do see the health value in a 90-day cleanse, and at some point I may undertake it, but on May ninth of last spring, I resumed my regular eating. This time around, I might have extended my cleanse, but ironically, I was entering into some mealtime sessions with eating disordered clients and knew I couldn't show up to lunch drinking a bottle of clear liquid. There is sometimes a fine line between a loving, healthy and nurturing relationship with food and a withholding, anxious and controlling one. If someone has lived in the latter for many years, as is the case with many of my clients, and they see their therapist drinking yellow liquid, they don't see "cleanse." They see it as another way to keep their disorder alive. My question is: How many ways do we find in our lives to keep our own disorders alive, and how does food play a pivotal role in this?
As the unique species that we are as human beings, we have a myriad of subtle and self-deceptive methods to keep ourselves small when we are yearning to be large. As a counselor, I see this all the time. Food is only one of these ways, but it is the foundational one that is merely a metaphor for all of our other relationships. How often do we choose one more way to obsess about our food and body imperfections instead of putting our focus and energy into something that will make us grow and expand; something for which we secretly long? It's easier to take this beautiful sustenance we call food and abuse it rather than to look at what's missing in our lives and go for it.
When you are struggling in your relationship with food, try this exercise: Think about the most passionate and loving relationship that you either have or desire; your spiritual soulmate, so to speak. Then write down all the adjectives that would describe this relationship, such as; loving, compassionate, adventurous, exciting, honest, trustworthy....whatever you desire in this person. When you are finished, read the list again. Now think about your relationship with food. Does it meet this description, or does it sound more like this; angry, starving, fat, ugly, scary, unpredictable...
Our relationship with ourselves begins with our relationship with food. We are fed from when we are born.
If you are looking to quell the source of some of your personal conflict and unrest, look no further than your relationship with food. Food creates the energy in every cell, organ, tissue and muscle in our bodies. It feeds our blood and nourishes our brain. The way we feel directly correlates to what we eat, and what we eat determines how we feel and what we attract into our lives. If we keep suppressing our souls in this most intimate relationship; punishing ourselves by either withholding or overconsuming food or eating foods that do not honor us, we disallow ourselves from the intimacy we so desire. If we cannot be intimate and loving with our own self first, how can we allow for others to love us appropriately?
Dream large and create. Then start each day by nourishing your body with the foods that make it shine. Never say you are "bad" or "good" because of what you eat. Choose your foods with love and let them love you back. Let go of any unwanted thoughts that keep you stuck in negative body image. Instead, put your energy into your passions and desires and keep your focus there. Allow food to elevate you into action rather than suppress you into sadness.
Having returned to the world of eating again post-cleanse, I am conscious of the space I was given through those ten days to reconnect with and reaffirm my relationship with myself. That was my commitment in undertaking this cleanse; to clean out whatever old "waste" was stopping me from being my highest self; physically, emotionally and spiritually. That has been met, and now I can lovingly renew my relationship with food and all of my relationships; those present and those yet to be.

Freedom with Your Food and Your Body; It's Here

Today's Beyond the Beyond Rawliciousness:
Breakfast:
Yes, this was my Memorial Day Weekend "Yes, I can eat this for breakfast!": 1 raw almond square - tastes just like an almond joy but 10 times yummier!!!
Caramel bar coated with raw dark chocolate - both of these are from One Lucky Duck in NYC.
I am not a morning sweet eater. Look at my blog; I never eat sweets in the AM. But this morning, after a great hot run, I poured my 32 ounces of water and went to town with a decadent breakfast. Sometimes, we just have to let go and fly free. For those of you who know my story, one of the reasons I got into the field of health counseling was my own journey with food when I was younger. Many of you know I was 220 ounds at one time; also, that my sense of confidence was connected to my ever fluctuating weight. All these years later, I do not own a scale and weigh myself about twice a year. One of my specialties and expertises in counseling is working with people with eating disorders and seeing their pain around food and their bodies. So, I know what it feels like to have freedom and ecstatic joy with my food, my body and my health. Eating this morning's breakfast is a validation of that; I was smiling as I "engaged" these decadent sweets. I am also grateful to have asuch a beautiful and intimate relationship with my food. I wish this for all those who need healing in this area. I know you are out there. I hope you are reading this. Know that it is possible to have a life of freedom with your food and your body; I promise you.

Lunch:
Rockin' Smoothie with thai coconut meat and water, with water, Superfoods of Earth, Vitamineral Green and Vanilla Spice Maca - 25 ounces

Dinner: all made by Chef Lori:
Hors D'oevres of sunflower seed/sundried tomato/olive pate on lettuce leaves and cucumber slices; garnished with olive slivers
Entree:
Taco Madness: Romaine leaves layered with taco crumble, guacamole and tomato; garnished with olive slices
Dessert:
Raw Chocolate Ganache with a pecan cacao nib crust, drizzled with a strawberry sauce and accompanied by raw Madagascar vanilla bean ice cream
Words cannot even describe this experience; this dessert was insane!!!!

Keep enjoying your holiday and love the food that loves you back.

Raw Rocks & Homage to the Spruce

What I ate today:
28 ounces of water with lemon
28 ounces of fresh nutmilk smoothie:
soaked Brazil nuts, water, banana, mango, cacao nibs, almond butter, agave - YUM!!!
large salad with lettuce, carrot, radish, purple cabbage, broccoli sprouts, sunflower seeds with dessing of nutritional yeast, olive oil, cayenne & sea salt
guacamole with avocado, tomato, purple onion, sea salt, lemon, cayenne, hot sauce, dulse shake, nori shake; with carrot and celery
manna carrot raisin bread with smears of raw crunchy almond butter (not totally raw at temp of baking, but close enough for this raw foodist today!)

Looked out my window this morning and saw the beautiful blue spruce at the end of the driveway uprooted and stretched across the driveway. The City of Stamford got slammed with the wind and rain storm yesterday. I saw this graceful tree swaying during the day. This morning I cried for him. One time, when I was in a writers' group, I wrote a poem about him and the other spruce, who we lost some years ago. Today, I went down to speak to the tree and offer him some healing touch. Nature really is the Divine Source; all else flows from there. I love you, tree; you made a difference in my life.
It's amazing how increasing my water again is just blasting my energy. Starting my day with a mason jar of lemon water both cleanses and detoxifies my liver daily as well as hydrating me. As a result, I feel energy surging through me and an emotional clarity; as if my brain is also functioning at a higher level.
I loved that the storm allowed me to slow down and stay inside all day yesterday. I purposely did nothing intensive; no cleaning; no Holistic Empire projects; only leisurely detailed journal writing; lots of eating, with special note to finishing off the final piece of raw berry cheesecake that Liz had made me for my birthday; juicy phone conversations with friends and time to connect with me.
As a result, I was so energized today that I went out to run in the rain. I took a great five miler this morning. At the beach, there were sections of the path that were no longer visible and filled with water from the Long Island Sound. I felt like I was running a Bushwack race, maneuvering over sand and grass to make my way around. Benches were sitting in large pools of water. The temperature was mild, and I had a mask on to keep my face dry. It was so exhilirating.
I feel the desire to do a Spring cleanse; it will probably come in the form of a juice feast. I anticipate doing a week-long cleanse this month and then a larger one in June. Gabriel Cousens is spearheading a month-long juice fast to combat global warming. One of the largest sources of global warming comes from the methane produced from factory farming. Coming together through juice fasting is a proactive way to take a stand on global warming and against the suffering created from the factory farming of animals. Who wants to join me?? Juice feasting (as the Raw Foodists have named it) creates so much energy in the body, as the digestive system is not being taxed; therefore no heavy digestion; no inflamation; alkalized body system.
One more day of rain? and then Tuesday Spring is back. Soon I'll start to add in warm weather fruits.