10 Tools to Take You Through the Holidays

I am sharing the "quick guide" to a talk I started to give ten years ago around this time of year. I still pass these tools on to clients each year. Wherever you are for Thanksgiving, use them as a way to help you stay balanced through the holiday.
 

10 Tools to Take You Through the Holidays

1.    Take a Breath; Pause between bites:

Notice how much more important the food has become than the connection and conversation.

Know you can have more to eat, and take a breath to engage in conversation.

Introduce yourself to someone you may not know.

If you are by yourself, take 5 minutes to do some deep inhales and exhales before going back for more food.

 

2.     Drink water each day. Increase it now. It will both help satiate your

hunger and move your digestive system through all the holiday foods.

Notice the difference it makes in your level of energy and fatigue.

Notice any other changes with mood, desire to eat less and become full more quickly.

 

3.     Balance your holiday meals with your typical way of eating.

Have at least one meal a day that supports your body with balancing and energizing foods. Have this meal be a meal like the one you would normally eat the other 364 days of the year. If possible, sit quietly by yourself when eating this meal, and really tap into yourself. If you are with others, chew your food slowly and engage in an “active meditation.”

4.     Surround and honor yourself with some of your typical foods. If you

are going away, pack a cooler with a few of your Core Foods.

If you normally eat steel cut oats for breakfast, bring a bag with you. Go to the market the first day you are there, and pick up a few foods that support your normal way of eating.

This does not set you apart from others; in fact, by taking really good care of yourself, it allows for you to truly appreciate the holiday foods that you eat and know they are cooked with love; so eat them and Enjoy.

Others may see you eating leafy greens and want to try; let them into your world, too, but don’t have expectations. This is about taking good care of you.

5.     Never skip a meal.

Meals are usually skipped because we are “punishing” ourselves for being “bad” with food; now we must deprive ourselves to pay the piper.

Deprivation promotes unhealthy eating, and untimately, weight gain and mood imbalance. We want to stay consistent in our eating during this time of year;

Consistency creates balance.

We are never “bad.” We just make choices each day. Honor that whatever food choice you make is the right choice and enjoy your next meal without guilt.

If you are too full to eat your next meal, take a break or eat a smaller portion.

6.     Enagage in one calming, relaxing, balancing practice each day – Yoga,

Meditation, Deep Breathing are a few options.

Even if you are very busy with holiday shopping, cooking and entertaining, take

5 to 10 minutes early in the morning or at night before bed to just “be” with you.

Do a breathwork/meditation, with some nice, deep inhales and exhales. Get in touch with how your body feels when you allow it to slow down and get “core connected.”

 You can take this “feeling” and bring it into the rest of your day or night.

The more you give yourself this daily gift, the more you will have the energy and focus for the rest of your day.

7.  Exercise for 30 minutes each day.

Our bodies were not designed to be sedentary; this is why we have legs!

Exercise this time of year is even more valuable in its ability to balance the mood, as we get our heart rates up and endorphins are released. It facilitates healthy digestion and elimination. And, it feels good! We are taking care of ourselves and accomplishing something in the process.

If you have an exercise you do regularly, continue with it. If you are out of town and not near your gym, see if you can use a family member’s guest pass.

Try some Winter holiday exercises, like ice skating, snow shoeing or taking a run or cross country ski with someone you haven’t seen in awhile.

When you start to hesitate about getting out for your workout and turn to head for the kitchen, put your fleece and sneakers on and head out the door!

8.  Make a list of things you’ve accomplished this year.

As the year closes, we tend to look to resolutions for the new year. These are all about what we feel we haven’t done well and want to alter.

Why not stop to see all the wonderful, powerful ways in which we have made forward movement in our lives.

Run through the past year in your mind; what actions, conversations and decisions brought you even a little bit closer to your goals and dreams? Write them down.

Where did you make a difference in another person’s life?

What did you let go of that allowed you to move forward?

Where did you walk through your fear and venture ahead?

Write down even the smallest of actions…they count just as much!

 

9.   Make a Gratitude list.

What are you grateful for this year?

Who are you grateful for this year?

How has that helped shape your life?

Sometimes even acknowledging a special sunrise or the movement of the trees outside your window can connect you to being present.

 

10. Trust in whom you've become and the choices you make each day. Trust that your body will honor you. Trust that you ARE good enough. Trust that you are loveable. Trust all parts of you; the light and the shadow. Just TRUST.

 

Have The Most Beautiful and Heart-Centered Thanksgiving.

Thank you for being in my life :)

With Love,

Hope

 

 

 

 

 

Affirmations

May each person who had damage to their home have it easily and completely affordably restored.









Affirmations for This Week:
To be said upon awakening, before getting out of bed:

I am so grateful for today.
My life flows easily.
I focus only on what I am proud of.
Everything I choose to eat nourishes each cell in my body.
I accept all parts of myself.
All my conversations are comfortable.
I have amazing friends who support me.
I believe in myself.
I trust my choices.
I allow myself to receive love.
My life is abundant.
Money flows to me with ease.
I have everything I need.
My body shines with health.
So Be it. So it is. It is Done.

Opposite Action

May each person have a warm home to sleep in and easily rebuild anything that was lost.
May all the trees grow strong and rooted to the earth.

One of my main areas of focus in counseling is with eating disorders, where long-held beliefs and behaviors are deeply ingrained in the body's memory. In these situations, where people keep turning and returning to self-destructive behaviors, one of the most effective ways to shift the response mechanism is with a tool called, "opposite action." Using this tool, we can start to recondition the body's cellular belief system, or cellular DNA (different from our genetic DNA, which is actually only responsible for 5% of our health outcome). From this model, we can turn major obstacles into personal victories and begin to heal our ED, or any addictive, compulsive or self-destructive pattern.
Here's how it works: Let's say it's lunchtime, and you eat something out of your normal routine for food. You are at work, and to celebrate a coworkers birthday, they've brought in the most delicious chocolate mousse cake, so you join in and have a big slice. It's luscious; really yummy. Now it's
mid-afternoon, and there's a voice in your head saying something like this: "Maybe I'll skip out on dinner tonight. It was really too much for me to have that cake. It must be hundreds of calories. I am not allowed to have that and have dinner, too. Ok, I'll just have an apple, or maybe some carrots. Shoot, I'm really mad at myself for eating that stupid cake. Now I'm sure to gain five pounds. I'm going to look really bad. Ok, I'm just going to skip dinner. Maybe I'll skip dinner, go for a run and then eat really light for breakfast. I hate myself for eating that cake! Forget it, maybe I should just eat more cake, since I'm fat already."
We know this kind of self-talk is sure to send you down the rabbit hole, so to speak. What do you do now? It's time for opposite action, which is originally attributed to Sigmund Freud's daughter, Anna Freud, whose focus was on "adopting a behavior that is opposite of the instinctual urge - acting opposite" with regards to"reaction formation." When the first negative thought comes up, take an opposite action. Move the thought out of your head and replace it with a new one. When you start to think about the piece of cake and skipping dinner, think about something soothing, like the great day you just had with your friend or the trip you have planned. It's helpful to add in a physical change, such as removing yourself from your immediate environment, by getting up and walking around the office. This can release the body's hold on the negative impulse and replace it with a new and different somatic (body-centered) experience. That's where I believe we want to both shift the thought and shift our body's experience of the thought, adding in the cellular belief component.
When you get home and it's dinner time, boom, if the thought comes up again, do some opposite action self-talk: "Dinner is so nourishing for my body. I completely trust my choices. I know I have a right to eat dinner." Use intentions and affirmations like these to support the action of preparing dinner. Incorporate some deep breathing to shift the cellular response, which would typically be constricted or tight with the disturbing thoughts. Expand your body and open up your thoughts beyond the repetitive.
After dinner, continue with some more affirmations, such as, "I love everything I ate. This food really nurtures me and supports my body. I am calm and content."
Opposite action can be used to break any cycle of addiction, including the pull we sometimes feel to stay in unhealthy relationships or situations that compromise our highest good by feeling good for the moment. The key is to turn to the opposite thought no matter how much you want to dwell on the destructive one; just choose the other. It's also a great tool for people grieving a relationship that has recently ended, when self-doubts and mistrust often come in.
Once you start to recondition your cellular DNA by taking opposite action more often, you will feel an enormous sense of liberation, as if the chains you couldn't break for years have just been untied, and you no longer have to be in bondage to yourself. Try it and see.

Creating Quiet

May each person be breathing in warmth and light.
May the water, earth and trees be restored to highest health.

Today I awoke to snow. All I saw out of my windows was white magic. Since the NorEaster didn't have the force originally predicted, I can't help but think that the snow is nature cleansing from the hurricane. What I noticed, when I went out early in the morning to clean off my car, was how quiet it was. It was so quiet. Then I remembered; after the winds die down, all that is left is the quietness of snow, and snow is quiet.
Do we know how to bring in quiet when we need to? Many of us continue to do, rather than be. I took my time this morning, trying out my new snow brush with its multiple adjustments for cleaning snow and ice off of a car. I made this one of my meditations today, taking my time, unlike the many times I have rushed to clean off my snow-laden car to get somewhere. Even though I had places to go this morning, I gave myself enough time to enter into my day with quiet.
Was it, "Wax on, wax off," that was a line so many years ago in the moveie, "The Karate Kid?" I took the time to be with something so nothing as clearing my car. I meditated on the bristles of the brush as they smoothed against the windshield. I saw each drop of water suspend from the finish on the car. I breathed in the early morning snow air; clean, clear and very crisp.
I find that the quieter I am in the beginning of my day, the quieter I can be when life surrounds me with people, places and conversations that don't always go my way or fit my picture. The more I've cultivated quietness inside of me, the deeper is my foundation of well being.
I try to do this with food as well. Being quiet with my food allows me to deeply appreciate it; notice that it brings vitality into every cell of my body and nourishes me. Eating with intention allows me to taste my food very differently than when I mix it into conversations and decisions. It's yet another form of meditation, and often the most difficult.
Try this Food Meditation:
Take one meal and allow yourself to be only with you and your food.
Notice what you have prepared or bought to eat; the colors, textures, shapes and smells.
Notice what it feels like to lift your fork or spoon and take your first bite.
Breathe deeply into that first contact with your food.
See what you taste when you slow down and really spend time getting to know your food like your lover; the intimate one who you choose to allow inside of you.
What is new about this experience?
What tastes different?
Where in your body do you connect with your food?
What parts come alive when you eat?
What emotions arise?
Eat each bite in intimacy between yourself and your food.
When you finish, take out a journal and write for 5 minutes on what you noticed and experienced.
See how this food meditation connects you with the rest of your day.
See what other ways you can create quiet for yourself.

A Prayer and Writing as a Healing Tool

A Prayer for those who are healing from the storm:

May each person have a warm home to be in and many lights that shine brightly upon them.
May everyone who lost a loved one be healed completely.
May each soul who left this earth be surrounded by God.
May anyone who lost their home have it easily and affordably rebuilt, with even stronger foundation and beauty.
May every single person affected by the storm have a warm, safe and loving bed to sleep in, good food to nourish them, warm clothes to wear and the loving arms of friends and family to wrap around them.
May everyone across the East Coast have a feeling of well being inside of them.
So Be it. So it is. It is done.
Amen.

This Monday morning feels different from last, and far different from the one before. Life has changed for so many people; thousands have moved from thriving into surviving. Over the last few days, I witnessed the eerie sight of gas lines running blocks down the street and pumps that read, "no more gas." I heard stories of people who have lost their homes and their lives. Gratefully, I was only out of power for three days, but since I blog on Mondays and Thursdays, this is the first time I've sat down to write. It's a strange feeling to both want to reach out with a positive message and also know that some may not want to hear one right now. So, I start with the deep and healing prayer above, and hope that whatever I write today may be just right for whoever reads it.
Writing is a healing tool in itself. I am offering it as a recommendation even to those who may only have a napkin, scrap of paper or back of a gas receipt upon which to write. It is not the size of your paper; it may only be three or four words that you choose to put down. I encourage you to release whatever you might be holding inside through the act of writing. Whatever feelings and experiences have been housed inside of your body (somatic experience) can start to move out through putting pen, pencil or even crayon to paper. Writing is one of the most cathartic tools to clear out our internal cobwebs, and anyone can write. Many people don't believe they are "good enough" writers to journal, and they make up a whole story about how it's not worth trying. I've heard this same story about meditation, too, another powerful clearing and healing tool that anyone can utilize; even the most scattered thinkers.
Here's an example of some words you can write if you don't know where to begin. These reflect the personal events of the last week:
I am so angry.
I don't know what to do with myself.
My feelings are out of control.
I am terribly scared.
I really need a hug.
I can't stop crying.
I'm overwhelmed.
Help!
Feel free to borrow any of these starters and use them as a diving board for a couple of additional sentences. You can write anywhere, including the bathroom, closet or car. Writing doesn't require space or time; merely the intention to release. From clearing and releasing eventually comes healing. There were some days in my life, where after I "made" myself write, I finally felt like I could breathe. Writing also grounded me when I felt like I was floating in space, which is how we often feel when pain or sadness envelops us. 
When we can't make sense of the world or our lives; when everything has changed and we can't seem to get back what we had, writing can shine a light on a place that feels very dark. I encourage you to trust the process, and wherever you are at this moment, to give yourself this gift. You are worth it and you deserve it.
With Deep Healing Love,
Hope