Friday, January 31, 2014

Cleansing Saved My Life - Archived Post


Cleansing Saved  My Life - Originally Posted on 2/4/13 
Readers: I thought it helpful to re-post this blog entry from one year ago:
As some of you know from reading my previous post, at the end of December I was hit by a car while walking and have been beautifully healing my body since.
What I did not share was that at the time, I was in the middle of leading a week-long holiday cleanse. I had just finished Day Five of Master Cleanser and had two days left to go. It felt fabulous to give my digestive system a rest from all the holiday food, right smack in the middle of the month (you might have seen the photo of my pre-cleanse Curry Sweet Potato Latkes). I was then planning to move into Christmas and New Year's, continuing to enjoy the food and traditions of the holiday season.
And then this unexpected event occurred...
The hospital report said: "Woman in good health and well nourished," and I smiled with recognition. Thank you, G-d, I said. I read this a few days after I got home. Because I had not eaten solid foods for five days, I was able to continue my cleanse to the best of my ability, even while in the hospital. I asked my dear friend and health counselor Karyn to bring me my last prepared mason jar of Master Cleanser, still sitting on my kitchen counter, along with a quart of green juice, some kale salad and raw almonds. Because I had had a concussion, I was only allowed liquids initially. These consisted of apple juice, cranberry juice, jello and hot water with a tea bag and lemon. I think there might have been some milk as well. I knew that these would not be the foods I would drink to heal my body at home, nor would I recommend them to anyone trying to heal, so I thanked them for bringing it, drank the hot water with lemon and pushed the trays aside. Instead, I sipped my remaining quart of Master Cleanser, drank my quart of green juice and ate my container of raw kale salad and a few almonds. This is all that I had over those couple of days, and I felt well nourished. Because I had gone without solid food for the five preceding days, I was easily able to do this and feed my body what it craved for healing. It gave me clarity, focus and energy; all that I needed.
When I got home, I felt so indebted to Stanley Burroughs and the Master Cleanser, written in the nineteen seventies and still holding up to this day as a powerful healing cleanse, that each day for the next few days, I made myself one quart of it, a modified cleanse, and sipped it with gratitude and deep, loving connection. I could hardly navigate around my kitchen but nothing stopped me from making that one jar of Master Cleanser each day. I am very clear that a major component to my being here today is that cleanse. My body was in a strong and clean place when this happened, and that was the greatest protection I could have had. Because of being on the cleanse, I was able to stay with that level of healing even though I had been hurt. Moving slowly around my kitchen, I focused on preparing this life force for myself each day.
Once being home, I continued to nourish myself with a mix of raw and macrobiotic foods; raw by day to cleanse, alkalize, release and build my entire body, and macro in the evening to warm my injuries and circulate the blood to eliminate inflammation. My dear friend and health colleague Sonia Maldonado counseled me to bring in warmth, and every day she made me home-brewed teas with fresh lavender, ginger and cayenne. I drank quarts of these, along with more quarts of green juice. She also made me homemade body butters with jojoba, fresh geranium and lavender  to rub all over my body, especially in the injured areas (So Naturals by Sonia). I included a ton of cayenne in everything I ate, and my body ate it up, receiving the warmth and circulation.
I coated myself with Young Living essential oils from the time I was in the hospital onward, and they healed and protected my entire body; skin is our largest organ through which we can receive healing. I used Thieves oil as an antibiotic and Purification to heal stitches and scrapes; other oils for healing bone.
These days I am eating a lot of chlorella to not only blast my body with chlorophyl and oxygen, but also to let go of whatever might have been left from x-rays and scans. I put it right on my raw granola or kale salad. There are many additional tools I have been using in my journey of healing, but all support the same process; cleansing my body and my psyche from this trauma.
I remember how I felt holding that last jar of Master Cleanser; the one I sipped in the hospital. I felt like it was God's holy water here to bless me and keep me strong. The emotional connection I had with that elixir is something I'm not sure I can ever really explain properly; deep, definitely, sacred, without a doubt; loving, so much so; moving, to tears; but truly, what cleansing has now become for me is life saving.

Meeting Ourselves Exactly Where We are At - Archived Post


Meeting Ourselves Exactly Where We are At - Originally Posted on 1/20/13
Readers: I thought it helpful to re-post this blog from 1 year ago:
Today is Sunday, January Twentieth. One month ago, on Thursday night, December Twentieth, I encountered the unexpected; an event that left me repeatedly saying, over the last month, "This was not supposed to happen." At ten at night, after leaving a fabulous film event at the local art movie house, I was hit by a car while crossing the pedestrian crosswalk on a side street in downtown Stamford, Connecticut, where I live. Though I don't recall this next part, as our brains have beautiful ways of protecting us, my body flew into and cracked the driver's windshield. I was taken to the trauma center at Stamford Hospital and was there from Thursday night till Saturday afternoon. Since then, I have been healing myself at home and finally venturing out once more into the world and my life.
I'm not sure where I want to go with this post. It still feels tender to write about, and even though I've spoken about it many times in retelling it to friends, I feel protective of myself in sharing it out loud. Those of you who follow my blog know that I typically offer up scenes from my personal journey in hopes it can make a difference for someone who reads it. In my counseling practice, I do the same at certain moments; share a piece of my scrapbook, struggles, insights, pain and breakthroughs so that I become more identifiable and less unreachable for those trying to heal their own lives. So this is new; this feeling of wanting to shield myself from the world at large. This is 'Meeting Myself Where I'm At.'
This past month has been filled with just that. When I'm not loving my body because it feels limiting; when I'm not loving myself because I'm terribly scared, anxious or vulnerable; when I'm not loving the moment because it feels constricted; when I'm not loving this new place I'm in because I'm longing for the old Hope, I am learning to meet myself exactly where I'm at, without judgement.
The old Hope was ecstatically happy the day this happened. I was grateful for every millimeter of my life. I had a clear understanding and huge appreciation for all the steps that had brought me to that point; I was in love with even the worst and most arduous and difficult parts of my journey, and I understood how each piece had played out exactly as it did in order to bring me to the wisdom and peace I held at that moment on that day. Then this event happened, and what I am left with is this: All my years of meditation, breathwork, therapy, yoga, chakra balancing, emoting, evolving and deep spiritual connection were merely practice for this moment of meeting myself where I'm at.
During the physical and emotional pain that I experienced, I could barely access my divine connection. Theoretically, I knew it was there. I even understood the larger context of this event, or at least that there is a larger context. But day-to-day, through sleepless nights and slow-moving days, the only thing I could do when I couldn't even access deep breathing was meet myself exactly where I was at. "Here you are, Hope. You're feeling this, now you're feeling this, and now this. Can you love yourself through all those feelings? Can you love yourself and let yourself be loved when your mojo has disappeared? Can you love yourself when all the things that define you seem to hang in the balance?" I had to learn, and I'm still learning.
A dear friend said to me, "Hope, you came here with a purpose, and that cannot be taken away."
The biggest battle we fight in life is the one with ourselves. I see this most often in counseling the most magnificent people who suffer with eating disorder. The layers of shame, self-blame and lack of forgiveness astound me. The infinite resources for self-punishment break my heart. When I have the opportunity at those moments, I remind my clients what gifts they are, and to see what would happen if they turn this blame into self-love; instant healing. 
Now it is my turn to let go of who Hope was on December Twentieth and embrace who Hope is now, on January Twentieth; still me, and still here with a purpose.